I was visiting Dave, a professional designer who does drafting for me. Dave met me at the door and led the way to his office. He works from home and uses one of the four bedrooms in his house as an office. I had found Dave to be fastidious in his work, and that is why I continued to have him prepare drawings for me. I learned that if Dave prepares a drawing, it’s going to be right.

           We had just sat down when the landline phone on Dave’s desk rang. Dave lifted the handset and answered. I heard a voice on the other end ask, “Is Derik there?” Dave said, “One minute please.” With his hand covering the lower part of the handset, Dave whispered to me, “I don’t know why it is: I get these wrong calls all the time.” Dave asked the caller, “Derik wants to know who’s calling?” The caller said, “Mason.” Dave waited a few seconds and then told the caller, “Derik says he doesn’t want to talk with you,” and hung up. Turning to me, he said, “These people should be more careful when they poke at numbers on their telephones. That didn’t seem to happen so much with the old-fashioned phones.” Obviously, Dave had no sympathy for people who dial the wrong number. He seemed to think everyone should show a better level of care when dialing a telephone number.  

           I opened my briefcase and started to show Dave some sketches I had prepared. We were about to discuss a new project when Dave’s iPhone rang. Dave answered and we could both clearly hear a voice on the other end say, “I am calling from Microsoft Maintenance. We see a problem with your computer.” Dave recognized the fraudulent call and immediately shifted to his imitation Russian accent. 

           “Oh, you say my computer has problem. That terrible. I need computer. I glad you call.”

           “Yes. That is true, but first let me say I am Alex with Microsoft. How are you today, sir?”

           “Thank you for ask. Today not so good. My right elbow hurt. I think it is, what you say, arthritis. But doctor say no he think it not that. I don’t know. He use big needle on elbow. But, that not help. I also take many pills, but elbow still hurt. Sometime pills help but that only sometime. Other time, I suffer. You know, it no fun. I think the arthritis come from grandfather Wlodzislaw Slomenski. That’s some mouthful, but that his name. 

           My knee bother, too. You want me tell you about knee?” Dave paused. The man on the other end of the line hesitated, cleared his throat, and started to say, “I am sorry…” Dave interrupted him. “I veyy happi you call today to help with computer.” The caller sounded pleased to hear of Dave’s alleged computer difficulties.   

           “Yes, sir we will be happy to assist you.” Dave told him, “Excuse please. I must go bathroom. You call at bad time.” Dave signaled for me to follow. We went to the kitchen where he turned the faucet handle and placed his iPhone near the running water. He held it there for several minutes. Finally, he declared, “Ah, I need that. I better now.”

           We returned to Dave’s office. When Dave sat, he placed his iPhone near a recording he kept for such occasions. The recording was of a man calling, “There’s someone at the front door, sweetie. A woman’s voice answered, Oh, it’s the police. I see their car in the driveway.” A dog started barking. The woman called out, “Tell them I’m not here. You got that, Jimmy?” The man answers, “I’m not getting in the middle of this. It’s your problem, not mine. I should have left you at the bar.” The barking grew louder while a baby began to cry in the background. We listened to the dog and the baby for a time. The dog stopped barking and then began to growl. There’s no sound from the caller.

           Dave reached over for an air-operated foghorn he kept in his office and gave several blasts close up to his iPhone. After he disconnected, he looked at me. “My guess is he won’t call back. Where were we? You said you brought some sketches?”

About the Author:

Joseph E. Fleckenstein, a graduate of Carnegie Mellon University and an electrical engineer, has published over 41 items. The list includes technical papers, online courses, three books, and literary short stories in a variety of online and print magazines. As a lieutenant in the US Army Corp of Engineers he was commander of a platoon of soldiers overseas. He spends part of the year in Maryland and the remainder in Florida. Additional bio particulars are available at his website http://www.WriterJEF.com