Me: When you left, I slowly watched the emptying toothpaste tube in my room,
The door never opened again on moonlit nights
I was addicted to the thrill of momentary highs like psychedelic drugs
Some called me out, others watched me crash now and then
I was translated each time, only to be misinterpreted.
Where were you?

Him: silence

Me: You didn’t call me anymore,
I was wounded, I carried our weight
I stopped seeing those who had called us an unexpected pairing
Took pictures of the high grass just to replace yours
You fought without a cause, you left without a reason.
Where were you?

Him: silence

Me: Please say something.
I won’t prove any point, I will let you accuse.
See the curtains are drawn still; I won’t budge till I have heard you pour.
Let us have coffee your way,
Let us go for a drive like we do.
I will ask my world to stop.

Him: I don’t think I can do this.
You are making too many memories of us
Too many discussions about curtains and home.
I played along but it led us down the wrong path
I didn’t plan this in my head.
You are a bit much.

Me: But… I met your mom? She liked me, too.

Him: It never added up with you
You drift in and out of feelings too fast
Never got the emotional space
You know well the art of blending tea
But coffee is my Meraki

Me: silence

Him: Why did you resist me when I wanted something different?
Why was it always called toxic?
Why couldn’t you understand I wanted less
I wanted loud.

Me: But love isn’t a proscenium-space
It is not voyeurism
You always created bridges for our differences?
Bridges are for defuncts
We walked steady and we knew what we wanted
Or, perhaps, we didn’t?

Him: We got talking a decade later, but you are still intense.
Let us not get overwhelmed with that old feeling of being connected.
Let us catch up for coffee?

Goodbyes were hard in any language. Locks were oiled, but she couldn’t restore them to their original glory.

About the Author:

Aditi Dasgupta, an explorer guided by a deep sense of intellectual inquiry, completed her M.Phil in English. Her academic interest lies in postcolonial literature and comprehending problems of identity and nationality. She is the author of the book Silencing of the Sirens, which has been internationally circulated. Her work on ‘Womb Literatures in India’ is a work in progress and will likely transition into doctoral research. This research idea has also been selected and approved as one of the most important contributions in Literature today by Harvard University’s Institute of World Literatures. She has also attended Yale University’s Program on Storytelling: An Art for Non-Fiction Writers, which sees applicants worldwide annually. Research being her first love, Aditi has been professionally associated with organizations like Times Group, Adfactors PR, Terrasinne, KoolKanya, and Mahindra and Mahindra in the past.