Madelaine Gnewski is a writer and linguist whose work has appeared in Friends On The Shelf, South 85 Journal, The Hemlock Journal, and elsewhere. Influenced by her therapeutic training, she explores family dynamics, memory, attachment, and the narratives people create around intimacy and belonging. She writes experimental, psychologically driven fiction and creative nonfiction.

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The Stories We Become: A Conversation with Madelaine Gnewski

“Writer’s block is really difficult. That’s actually why I say not to write only when you feel inspired. Make writing a habit. That doesn’t mean you have to write an essay every day. It could simply be writing a few sentences in a journal every morning, or filling a couple of pages by hand. The point is to get yourself into that flow state where you’re not overthinking. You just write. I think that’s a really healthy habit to build.”

Abdullah Lakdawala: How long have you been writing?

Madelaine Gnewski: I’ve been a freelance writer for about ten years, but I think I’ve always been a writer. I also work as a linguist, and the creative side of my writing is something I’ve only really focused on over the last five or six years. So I’ve been writing more fiction and creative non-fiction for a while now, but I’ve always wanted to be a writer. That was my dream as a child.

Abdullah Lakdawala: How has it felt since being published in The Hemlock Journal?

Madelaine Gnewski: It’s been good. It’s been so nice. This is my first fiction publication in print, and I’m very excited. Most of what I write tends to be experimental essays, but they’re more in the realm of non-fiction. This is the first time I’ve been published in a fiction journal, so it’s very exciting. It’s been a nice ego boost and has encouraged me to keep writing.

Abdullah Lakdawala: Your story portrays a vulnerable marriage. Have you experienced anything like that yourself?

Madelaine Gnewski: I actually wrote the story in two phases. The original idea came to me quite quickly because I wanted to write about marriage, or a long-term relationship. The husband turning into a dog was simply the form the idea took. I put the story aside for a while and came back to it later. When I reread it, I felt something was missing. I realised I was much more interested in what the transformation revealed about the relationship than the relationship itself. Around that time, I was also studying relationship therapy, and that fundamentally changed the way I thought about characters and their motivations. So I returned to the story and rewrote it to focus more on co-dependency and the ways people lose themselves in intimate relationships. That became the central idea, but it came later.

The story isn’t directly autobiographical, but it definitely draws on observations I’ve made over the years. Training as a relationship therapist made me much more aware of recurring patterns in intimate relationships and the subtle ways people adapt in order to keep relationships functioning. That was probably the biggest influence, rather than any one personal experience. That said, I’ve certainly had moments where maintaining a relationship felt more important than maintaining my own self-worth or my own boundaries. I think a lot of people have experienced that, compromising too much, ignoring their own needs, or gradually shaping themselves around another person. That’s really the tension I wanted to explore with Kris and Robert.

Abdullah Lakdawala: Did you write this story ‘Marital Animal’ for The Hemlock’s Issue 10, or was it written earlier?

Madelaine Gnewski: I had actually written it quite a while before. I submitted it to The Hemlock because I’d read some of the other work you publish, and I felt my story matched that style. I wasn’t writing to fit a particular theme. It just seemed like the right home for it.

Abdullah Lakdawala: You’ve been published in several journals; how has that journey been, and what feedback have you received?

Madelaine Gnewski: The journey has been incredible. Once I made the decision to focus on my creative writing, it felt like something shifted. Like I said before, a lot of my work has been experimental essays. Most of what I write explores family dynamics, trauma, and those kinds of themes. This short story is actually the first time I’ve experimented with something that isn’t about me, something that’s completely fictional.

Abdullah Lakdawala: What are you working on right now?

Madelaine Gnewski: I’m working on an experimental essay. I haven’t finished it yet, so we’ll see where it goes. I try not to have too many expectations while I’m writing because I think that can interfere with the creative process. I tend to get too much in my head and start thinking about publishing it before I’ve even finished writing it. So right now, it’s an essay about family dynamics again, because that seems to be the subject I’m most fascinated by.

Abdullah Lakdawala: Why do you focus so much on family dynamics, trauma, and attachment in your writing?

Madelaine Gnewski: That’s a good question. I don’t actually think I chose it.
I think fiction, and experimental non-fiction as well, gives us a safe way to examine difficult tensions from a distance. It allows readers to engage with challenging experiences through a kind of protective layer. Hopefully, when people read my work, they recognise something of themselves in it. Maybe they feel less alone. Maybe they feel seen, or they understand one of their relationships a little differently. I’m just really drawn to writing about those things. I’ve tried writing about other subjects, but I always seem to come back to human experience.

Abdullah Lakdawala: Do conversations with people about trauma ever inspire your writing?

Madelaine Gnewski: Actually, no. I think there’s an important boundary there, whether we should use other people’s stories as our own. Life, both the good and the bad, already gives us enough to work with. I’ve also trained as a relationship therapist and worked with people who’ve shared very personal experiences. I would never use their stories directly. What those experiences have given me is a better understanding of human behaviour, and that’s something I can bring into my writing. So I don’t use people’s trauma as inspiration, but I do think working with people helps me write more nuanced characters. Hopefully that makes sense.

Abdullah Lakdawala: Have you ever tried writing about something completely different?

Madelaine Gnewski: I have. Definitely. But every time I do, it somehow becomes something deeper. My characters always end up questioning their reality, or the story naturally moves in that direction. I don’t think that’s necessarily intentional. I think we all write through our own lens. We each see the world in a particular way, and that’s ultimately what makes our writing unique. As writers, I think that’s what we should lean into, offering people our own version of reality.

Abdullah Lakdawala: What message do you hope readers take from your work?

Madelaine Gnewski: I hope people recognise something of themselves or their relationships in my stories. Maybe they question something they hadn’t considered before. More than anything, I want people to feel a little less alone with difficult subjects. If my writing can do that, then I’m happy.

Abdullah Lakdawala: Have readers ever reached out to you about your work saying that it has impacted them in any way?

Madelaine Gnewski: Yes. A few people reached out after reading an experimental essay I wrote about my relationship with my mother. I also wrote another experimental essay for Friends on the Shelf. I read it aloud at the launch event, and afterwards several people came up to speak with me because it dealt with a difficult, abusive relationship I’d been in. I’ve had people reach out in different ways over the years, and it’s always incredibly meaningful. It makes me feel less alone too, so it becomes something we both benefit from.

Abdullah Lakdawala: What’s a typical day like for you when you’re working or writing?

Madelaine Gnewski: That’s a good question. I’m drawn to people who also question why we’re here and how we’re supposed to be human. I spend a lot of time connecting with other writers. I join writing groups online whenever I can, and I like hearing other people’s perspectives. I also try to take part in mentorship programmes because they help me understand how other people write, challenge my own style, and continue developing. My days aren’t really the same from one day to the next, but that’s probably the best general overview of what I’m like as a person.

Abdullah Lakdawala: How do you deal with writer’s block and rejection?

Madelaine Gnewski: Writer’s block is really difficult. That’s actually why I say not to write only when you feel inspired. Make writing a habit. That doesn’t mean you have to write an essay every day. It could simply be writing a few sentences in a journal every morning, or filling a couple of pages by hand. The point is to get yourself into that flow state where you’re not overthinking. You just write. I think that’s a really healthy habit to build. Eventually, something interesting will emerge. It might not happen on the first day or the second day, and there will also be days when you sit there and simply stare out of the window. That’s part of the creative process too. Eventually an idea will come, and you’ll be able to move forward with it. But I really believe you shouldn’t wait until you feel like writing. Build the habit first.

Abdullah Lakdawala: Who has been your biggest inspiration as a writer?

Madelaine Gnewski: Different people at different times. Most recently, I completed a mentorship programme where my mentor was Esther Freud. She’s an incredible writer, and that course helped me enormously. It really strengthened my fiction writing and helped me grow as a writer. She’s been a very important influence.

Abdullah Lakdawala: Is there anyone you’d like to thank for your journey?

Madelaine Gnewski: There have been quite a few people over the years. My high school creative writing teacher, although I can’t remember his name now, was the first person who told me I should really pursue writing. Sometimes you just need one person when you’re young to tell you that what you love is worth taking seriously. He gave me that confidence.
I’ve also been incredibly fortunate to have a very supportive group of friends. They understand how important writing is to me, and I’m very grateful for that.

Abdullah Lakdawala: Do you think your high school teacher gave you the push you needed?

Madelaine Gnewski: Yes, I think so. Simply hearing someone say, “Maybe you should do this,” was enough. It still took me a few more years before I fully committed to writing, but he definitely nudged me in the right direction. He gave me the confidence to try, and I think we all need someone like that, especially when we’re doing something creative.

Abdullah Lakdawala: As we come to the final part of the interview, what advice would you give to aspiring writers?

Madelaine Gnewski: I think the best advice I ever received was not to let rejection stop you from writing, and to take your writing seriously. Set time aside for it, and write even when you don’t feel inspired. If you only wait for inspiration, you’ll never write very much because inspiration doesn’t come along that often. You have to treat writing like a practice. Show up even on the days when you don’t really want to. That’s when some of your best work happens. And remember that everyone gets rejected. Publishing is incredibly difficult. I think it’s important for people to know that rejection is part of the process. You just have to keep going until you find the right publication for your work.

Abdullah Lakdawala: Are you planning to continue publishing, and where do you see yourself in five years?

Madelaine Gnewski: Definitely. I’ll continue submitting to different literary journals, and hopefully to The Hemlock again in the future. I’d also love to write an essay collection, and eventually something bigger. It feels like I’m at the beginning of a really exciting journey, and that’s a lovely feeling.

Quick Snippets:

• Languages I speak: Polish, Swedish, Danish, and English. 
• Do I translate? Not personally, I review and collaborate closely with translators. 
• When I feel lonely: I go into nature, call a friend, or read, and books keep me in good company. 
• Right now I’m reading: The Communist’s Daughter by Aroa Moreno Durán
• All-time favourite book: Shuggie Bain by Douglas Stuart. I also adore Rachel Cusk; her work is philosophical and rewards rereading.

Read more of Madelaine’s work on her Substack: https://madelainegnewski.substack.com/

About the Interviewer